Friday, September 2, 2011

The Day Jeopardy Legend Ken Jennings Told Me To Suck It

That day was today, actually. But it was all in good fun, I am so tickled and honored by his suggestion.

That's right, I had a lot of fun on Twitter today, and so I'm going to give you a little Twitter Roundup. For some reason Facebook is much more popular than Twitter, and I really don't understand why. Twitter is a dynamic communication mecca of wonderfulness. Besides @KenJennings I also talked with (at) @PeteCarroll, @NormMacdonald and @AlbertBrooks today as well. True, none of those guys wrote me back, but they MIGHT have saw what I said to them, isn't that exciting? You're not going to get that opportunity on Facebook, friends.

Mr. Jennings wrote a blog today about Twitter as a comedy barometer. It was a great blog, and he mentioned how some of his Tweet-jokes go over like lead balloons, so I decided I would tweet to remind him of one that I found particularly lead-ish. That's all you need to know to enjoy our conversation.


Jason DesLongchamp

 Also, my favorite lead balloon tweet of yours was the postmortem congratulations to Amy Winehouse on 4 weeks of sobriety. Ouch.
9 hours ago 


Gotta love a guy who can be that honest about himself.


And then I gave Pete Carroll a little reassurance of my Seahawk commitment:





Jason DesLongchamp
 I'm gonna be screaming so loud tonight you're gonna hear me from TUKWILA! 

 As a bonus I will give you my tirade against Starbuck CEO Howard Schultz. Now, look--before today I didn't have anything against Schultz. I don't begrudge hardworking (or otherwise) Americans making boatloads of cash; by all means, have at it. And I don't know what his politics are, and more importantly I don't care what his politics are. But this morning he sent an email to every Starbucks customer he had an address for accusing the United States congress of the very original charge of "partisanship" leading to "gridlock" which apparently is keeping more jobs from being created (I refer you to this excellent This American Life episode in which they explore the incredibly dubious idea that the government can create private sector jobs). I guess the thing that really set me off is that because Howard Schultz is, well, Howard Schultz, people are going to listen to what he has to say. But what he has to offer are incredibly facile political observations that Everyone Else is Making. It's like the suck-up kid repeating the adults orders like they were his very own--we all hated that kid. Anyway, something snapped inside of me and so I let Schultz have it:


Jason DesLongchamp
Is that email to customers from Howard Schultz for real??? "Stop the partisan gridlock"? Thanks for the tip, Howie. 



Howie, seriously you're a nice guy & everything but my coffee is getting cold. Drop the Mr. Smith act & give me a warm up. 



News flash:  CEO shows he's leading the way by bitching & complaining--just like everyone else. Thank you, sir.

CEO of  comes out w/ bold new plan to stop greasing the wheels of the machine that up until this point he has been paying to run.

Schultz of  is like the guy who got in w/ the drunk driver and then started screaming at him when he wrecked the car.


Congress admits they were simply waiting for someone to tell them to "do better" & they publicly thanked  CEO for doing so.


Uh, I think that's about all the scathing sarcasm I'm able to muster against ' Howard Schultz today, thank you for your time.


Ugly? Mean-spirited? Yes, I think you could make a case for those arguments. I get it that it might be hard to understand why I was so annoyed by his seeming effort to be helpful and level-headed. I just didn't like that what he was saying is pretty much what everyone else is saying, like we needed a billionaire in shining armor to save us (with everything we've already got).

Oh, and lest I accuse him of all talking and no doing, also part of his, well, whatever he's doing, is organizing a national call-in conference next week so Americans "can be heard."

All hail the inventor of bipartisanship and talk radio.

1 comment:

Kathleen said...

You almost make me want to join twitter, almost.