Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Letter To the Editor

The words hurt, but I figure you deserve to see them. If you agree, then please waste no more of your time on my blog. If you agree, then just go ahead and move on with your life, pretend I closed up shop; there really is nothing more to see, for you, here. Know that if you do, some part of me is already with you.

"Dear Blogger,

Boy, you must think you're really funny. No, really. Congratulations. What a great use of your time. Half of your crap is so esoteric and just straight up out of nowhere that, yeah, I suppose it might startle a chuckle out of the slower ones, maybe. Why are you wasting your time on this blog? There is no central theme or guiding light that binds all of the madness together. Everyone knows the point of blogging is to get people to follow your blog, and then more people, and then you turn those people into an opportunity. Once you have a lot of followers, blogs either begin to make money off of web traffic, or you turn your posts into a book. What's your aim, son? There is no real point to your blog, no galvanizing ethos that keeps people coming back. It's sad. We only have a limited amount of time on this planet, and you're wasting a lot of yours entertaining yourself. You know, there's another word for that. I've heard you tell people that, look, if it's funny to you then it's going on the blog. How's that working out for you? Inside jokes with yourself? Well, again I say, there's another word for that. Please do yourself a favor and shit or get off the pot. No more (trying to be)funny, then introspective, then political, then theological, then some muddled hybrid. Please, no more half measures. Embrace an approach, or else delete this thing.


Your Subconscious"

p.s. I know it's disgusting, sick and wrong, but I think the "word" he's referring to is the dreaded...M-word.


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