Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Getting Intimate With You

We've known each other for awhile now: I think it's time to take our relationship to the next level.

I want to show you who I am, I want to bare my naked soul before you; that's right—I want to share with you the list of all the books that I can ever remember having read.

No, I'm not just going to recall them for memory. The reason for this blog is quite mundane, actually...I have been keeping a running list for several years now, but the problem is that it has been on PAPER, which is inherently unstable and dangerous. I need to keep an electronic copy of of the list, for my sanity at the very least, and therefore the world's. Anyway, since I idolize books to an unhealthy degree I feel like I'm sharing a giant chunk of myself with you. Some people will think I'm shallow, some will think it's not enough, yet others will think it's way too many. Some will be disturbed by the lack of picture books, but that's just because I make friends with dumb people to make myself feel better.

As an added bonus I think I'll hyperlink any of the ones that I think you must read before you die or I might not forgive you (and you probably shouldn't forgive yourself):

Oh Wait! The other thing that you must understand is that these are not in order according to how much I enjoyed them or how good they are (I didn't even enjoy/like/understand Slaughterhouse-Five).
  1. Slaughterhouse-Five
  2. Catcher in the Rye
  3. What’s so Great About America?
  4. Letters to a Young Conservative
  5. Choke
  6. Fight Club
  7. Survivor
  8. Lullabye
  9. Invisible Monsters
  10. About a Boy
  11. How to be Good
  12. Holes
  13. Of Mice and Men
  14. High Fidelity
  15. The Pearl
  16. The Chocolate War
  17. Bias
  18. Affluenza
  19. The Things They Carried
  20. The Education of Little Tree
  21. On Writing
  22. One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
  23. My Point...And I do Have One
  24. Couplehood
  25. Don’t Stand Too Close to a Naked Man
  26. The Road Less Traveled
  27. To Kill A Mockingbird
  28. Life 101
  29. Lord of the Flies
  30. Tuesday’s With Morrie
  31. Your Erroneous Zones
  32. Culture Jam
  33. I am the Cheese
  34. Andy Kaufman—Revealed!
  35. The Sun Also Rises
  36. Birdy
  37. Dreamcatcher
  38. The Shining
  39. The Dark Tower Series: The Gunslinger
  40. The Dark Tower Series: The Drawing of the Three
  41. The Dark Tower Series: The Wastelands
  42. The Dark Tower Series: Wizard and Glass
  43. The Dark Tower Series: Wolves of the Calla
  44. The Dark Tower Series: Song of Susannah
  45. The Dark Tower Series: The Dark Tower
  46. Cujo
  47. The Regulators
  48. Desperation
  49. Writing Down the Bones
  50. The New Testament
  51. The Old Testament (yes, I counted the Bible as two!)
  52. Tunes for Bears to Dance To
  53. There’s a Boy in the Girl’s Bathroom
  54. Dogs Don’t Tell Jokes
  55. Farenheight 451
  56. The Hobbit
  57. Quality of Life
  58. Elements of Style
  59. The Eyes of Kid Midas
  60. If Life is a Game, These Are The Rules
  61. The Stand
  62. 1984
  63. Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
  64. Seinlanguage
  65. Carrie
  66. Celestine Prophecy
  67. In a Sunburned Country (moment of truth, didn’t quite finish it)
  68. The Four Agreements
  69. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone
  70. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
  71. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
  72. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
  73. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
  74. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
  75. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
  76. The Restaurant at the end of the Universe
  77. The Letterman Wit
  78. Eyes of the Dragon
  79. Brave New World
  80. The Talisman
  81. Journal of Nick Twisp: Youth In Revolt
  82. Sassafrass, Cypress, and Indigo
  83. The Woman Warrior
  84. Chemical Pink
  85. Hollywood v.s. America
  86. Two or Three Things I Know for Sure
  87. Let Freedom Ring
  88. Ishamael
  89. The Ten Things You Can’t Say in America
  90. The Partner
  91. A Walk Across America
  92. Mere Christianity
  93. The Screwtape Letters
  94. Hearts In Atlantis
  95. Green Mile
  96. Bag of Bones
  97. From a Buick 8
  98. If only he Knew
  99. Ovid: Metamorphoses
  100. Pay It Forward
  101. Casino Gambling for the Winner
  102. The God Who Was There
  103. Insomnia
  104. The House of the Scorpian
  105. Salem’s Lot
  106. Poker Nation
  107. Speak
  108. Smack
  109. Breathing Underwater
  110. Crazy Jack
  111. Hard Love
  112. Bronx Masquarade
  113. The Outsiders
  114. The Body of Chris Creed
  115. Silver Kiss
  116. Black House
  117. Circle of Friends
  118. Scarlet Feather
  119. The Woman Who Walked Into Doors
  120. A Star Called Henry
  121. Out of the Silent Planet
  122. Poker Wisdom of a Champion
  123. Pure Drivel
  124. Radical Reformation
  125. Goat
  126. Cry, The Beloved Country
  127. Treason
  128. Beyond the Chocolate War
  129. The Giver
  130. When Character Was King
  131. Conscience of a Conservative
  132. Age, Guile and Wisdom beat Youth, Innocence and a Bad Haircut
  133. Right Turns
  134. The Fountainhead
  135. Case for a Creator
  136. The Know It All
  137. Tale of Two Cites
  138. 100 People Screwing Up America
  139. Blink
  140. Crime and Punishment
  141. The Brothers Karimazov
  142. In Cold Blood
  143. Breakfast at Tiffany’s
  144. A Confederacy of Dunces
  145. Freakonomics
  146. The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe
  147. Cell
  148. Federalist Papers
  149. Alexander Hamilton
  150. The Castle
  151. A Hart Breaking Word of Staggering Genius
  152. The Way of All Flesh
  153. The Da Vinci Code
  154. The Ragamuffin Gospel
  155. Lolita
  156. Letter to a Christian Nation
  157. The Heart is a Lonely Hunter
  158. Schmucks
  159. How Should We Then Live?
  160. Confessions of a Reformation Rev
  161. From God to Us
  162. Love God With All Your Mind
  163. Amusing Ourselves To Death
  164. The Culturally Savvy Christian
  165. Predictably Irrational
  166. The Kingdom Triangle
  167. Anna Karenina
  168. Humility: True Greatness
  169. Picture of Dorian Gray
  170. Do I Know God?
  171. Respectable Sins
  172. The Great Gatsby
  173. Orthodoxy
  174. Irresistible Revolution
  175. The Shack
  176. Leading With a Limp
  177. Traveling Mercies
  178. Letters to a Young Contrarian
  179. And Then We Came to the End
  180. Lisey’s Story
  181. The Reason For God
  182. The Abolition of Man
  183. Catch-22
  184. Prodigal God
  185. A Long Way Down
  186. Counterfeit Gods
  187. Reason, Faith, and Revolution: Reflections on the God Debate

2 comments:

Jason Dean said...

You forgot to hyperlink you IDIOT.

Elise said...

You've got to tell us which ones we have to read! I need to know!! I think I liked Lullaby the best out of Palahniuk's books. Repost this with the hyperlinks so I know I won't destroy our friendship forever. ;)