Friday, September 25, 2009

Things I'd Blog About If I Had The Time

Creature and how he's now a turnip!

Glenn Beck and how much he sucks, and how much consternation it causes me to say that. It's like, man, am I doing the wrong thing as a conservative to point out douchebags on our side? Am I falling into "their" trap and helping to divide my side when we should be uniting? But I listen to his unfunny jokes and his rabid unfairness and crazy conspiracy theory mind and say "If that's conservatism, or something conservatism should respect, then I'd like off of this bus right now and I don't care how much I had to pay up front to get on and I'm not even going to kick and cry for a refund if you're seriously not going to just give it to me."

I'd blog about how I'm going to be switching jobs and I basically have to switch out my personality as well. I've got to play straight man, which I don't do that well. I have to stop joking around and striving to entertain people and think of funny and weird things to say; instead I have to be stern and lead. That's hard.

I'd tell you about how I have weird procrastination/writer's block issues but they're really deeply seated and have stuff to do with fear of success and real sick stuff like that. Like for instance, I have to be working on this talk I'm going to give next week and yet I thought it would be a good idea to go and take a picture of Jess when she didn't realize and then show it to you:

I wish I could tell you what she said right after I took this picture (I remembered to turn the camera noise of but I forgot about the flash!)—but I want to live to see my child get born so I can't tell you.

And It's Cher By A Nose!

In the end it was Cher who was victorious in my ring tone contest. When I saw there were 15 of your that turned out the vote I thought, "Well, yeah, that's a pretty good sampling of the general population; based on that I can be fairly sure that I have properly triangulated and I will have a ring tone that encourages social cohesion and all of that."

Then I found out that my wife was responsible for 50% of the vote for the winning tone ("I wanted to make you feel like you had a lot of people looking at your blog"), so now I really don't know what to think.

Well, at least she'll be happy.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Too Busy To Blog?

No, it can't be! My goal is to always make time for blogging. It turns out this can be fairly hard to pull off.

But there was this thing I want to show you, simply because it was great, so I get to do a little miniblog, at least it's something, right?

9/11 Conspiracy Theories 'Ridiculous,' Al Qaeda Says

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Three Burrito Wednesday

I know it's a bad day because I've eaten two of these things and still feel like another.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Oue Destiny Is Almost Upon


Look up through those double windows.

Ok, I know you can't see anything. But what you can't see is your ultimate destiny drawing near.

What you can't see through those windows is a plane flying a big blue flag.

Its the 12th man flag, and its there because people like you and me dare to dream.

And this year we shall dream bigger than we've ever dared dream before.

Go Hawks.


Lord Hawk

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Help Make Me Cool

All rings tones are categorically obnoxious. It's sad and painful but it's true. I wish it weren't that way. Up until now I have never had a phone with the ability to play ring tones I have fashioned myself.

But that all changed this last Tuesday.

So now I've got all this pressure on me: Your ring tone, when fully controllable by you, is 20 seconds to say absolutely everything about who you are. If you have the right one, well, let's just say I know people who leave their phone at full volume during job interviews because their ring is That Good.

It turns out in a lot of ways I'm a real loser. As I previewed my potential songs for Jess she made faces she might only otherwise make if she were being fed to a meat grinder. She said I, "Picked a lot of songs that were cool 10 years ago and will just make people cringe."

It turns out I'm just...typical. And I hate the idea that I might be typical, that's the last thing I want to be, which is actually a strike against me because nobody wants to be typical, so the very act of not wanting that makes me, you got it—typical.

So I dug a little deeper into my musical subconscious. But clearly I need help. If you wouldn't mind checking out my ring tones and then voting for them on the sidebar pole over there, that would be great. Also, if you would like one of these ring tones to be the song that I hear when you call me then let me know and I'll make that happen.

Create a playlist at

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Prepare for We Need The Eggs 2.0

I have just figured out how to do blog posts from my phone; I am, in fact, doing that as we speak. Things are gonna get real...different. I'll prove it! (If god loves me there is a pic of me below this text)

-- Sent from my Palm Prē