Monday, May 25, 2009

Seattle Distinctives: Folk Life 2009

The Folk Life Festival is a time for adults to be children, and children to follow them closely with cameras. It's a time for some to indulge their latent pagan yearnings by dressing in dinge and dancing to strange rhythms; still others gratify certain childhood remembrances of things past and strip down to their underwear and run through a fountain (please read to the end for the payoff on that line). Whatever your thing is, be sure that you may flaunt it unashamedly at the Seattle Folk Life Festival.

The trip could not have started off any better, and of course by that I mean that we got free parking.

Why so glum? Jessica was sure that we would be towed, and if not that we were at least doing something illegal. I maintained no way—if a bank is not open then their parking is free game. Yes the tow sign is there, I do not deny that, but it is only there to scare people during business hours. In the end my car was exactly where we left it: one point me.

This is a family band, can you dig that? Haven't there been enough made for TV movies and blurbs of brother-slaying-family in the local section of the paper that parents have learned not to do this kind of a thing to a poor, unassuming child? Apparently not.

Next we spent some time at the fountain—a Folk Life must for anybody who is anybody. I am very proud to say that I have never actually ran around in the fountain and that all these years I have only been a voyeur (maybe I mucked around in it when I was a child, but I don't count my childhood as I was so dumb back then compared to what I am now that I can hardly stand it and refuse to hold those things against myself).

First up we have Free Spirit Hippie Lady:

If you haven't seen her or someone like her running through the fountain at FL then clearly you've never been to FL—if you insist that you haven't then get your peepers checked and let me know the result. Hippie Lady is a FL must, and she always has an all too eager boy toy to share in the fun...lucky them.

Next is Guy Pretending To Get His Kid Wet:

This guy did a particularly bad job and got his child and himself totally drenched. Must be a newbie.

Next we have Way Over-Prepared Guy:

He clearly has been working out in anticipation for this day. He showed up in swimming trunks and he isn't eight—he has negated everything he was working for by tipping his hand and showing how excited he was for this opportunity to flaunt himself. Fail.

Finally we have Cutest Kid of the Day:

Usually it's a baby in a diaper running around with the glee of someone who has just won the lottery, so I called that out to Jess beforehand. But I was wrong. The three-quarter length overalls are what put this child over the top.

Also extra bonus points because from behind the kid looks like Mickey Rourke from
The Wrestler.

I really do wonder how many men think I'm some kind of a psycho because I let, and even encouraged, my wife to go up and hug this stranger:

It helps that I could have snapped him like a twig, and who could hate that pretty boy face? She probably liked him because he reminded her of Zac Efron.

Look at that freaking dread. Did you see it? Ok, that's all I wanted was just for you to see it. Freaky...

So this hillbilly looking freak show band from Olympia called
Hail Seizure had this chick who was just there to dance to their freaky-ass music. Weird huh?


Can't you tell that I was having the time of my life?

I was only mad because we had to wait about 15 minutes for a Caribbean chicken thigh while my Philly Cheese steak got cold.

And finally, the pay off. Here is what you all really came to see. I think that in so many ways it defies description, so I will just let it speak for itself:


The one resounding thought for the day: Thank you Jesus that you invented cameras, especially digital ones.

41 comments:

Jenée Elizabeth said...

This is the best thing ever. That last guy looks like a chick from the waist down from behind.

Good work, JD.

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Jason Dean said...

Oh man I hope to God this is a real comment and not spam. Priceless!