Yes, me giving Gretel a haircut does count as a Dispatch From the Edge because if I were not unemployed I would never have given her a haircut. Jess basically begged me to do it (though she'll dispute that), and in light of my current situation I cannot bear to turn down doing a favor for anyone—don't abuse this sensitive piece of information.
The last haircut I gave was to my brother in our backyard when he was three or so, and my mother went through the roof. After seeing Gretel today, I guess we can all now see why my mom went apoplectic. I must admit there was more than a hint of Silversteinian logic to the whole affair. After the deed was done my wife looked directly into my eyes and said, "I can't believe what a terrible job you did." Mission accomplished. (Other quote from Jessica: "She looks like she went through a fire.")
Let's start off with a few before shots: