Friday, March 13, 2009

Dispatches From the Edge: Rounding Up the Week

Day 33:

It was a productive week. I got a blog about my slippers up, I watched 16 movies and I did a soulful painting of my dog, Gretel.

I also attended a mandatory unemployment workshop. Because of my general antipathy towards government I only wanted to scoff in lofty self-righteousness the whole time, but it was actually pretty helpful (damn. One point government, zero points me).

This week I also reached the conclusion that we need at least a six month moratorium on the use of the phrase "taken out of context." From what I can understand, if we ever say anything embarrassing, stupid, ridiculous or some combination of those three then we can simply employ this phrase like some kind of magic ointment for which we can then be absolved of all consequence.

That's bullcrap.

According to my rapier observation almost every dumb thing that gets picked up and used against the speaker has most certainly not been taken out of context. And it gets some kind of weird respect. Instead of calling the people out on their copout, we just kind of go, "Oh, ok, sorry about that." Really what it is is a power play back at you. The speaker is saying, "you're ignorant and ill-informed and you're being like some shock jock on the radio and taking my words out of context." And because we don't want to look stupid we just go ahead and cowtow, lick their boots or suck their kneecap, and shamefully exit the room whilst walking backwards with head bowed.

Not in my America.

From now on if anyone ever tells me that I'm taking a statement out of context I'm going to get right up in their face and do a silent scream. For a silent scream to be effective you have to be within two inches of their face, and then open your mouth as wide as you can and reduce your eyes to mere slits. In a lot of ways it's more effective than a real scream because people just don't know how to react and so it kind of shorts their circuits.

The movement of the silent scream will grow like legion and soon the plague of the "out of context" copout will be no more.

1 comment:

Jessica DesLongchamp said...

I like your painting.
The silent scream sounds scary.