Monday, August 18, 2008

Writers Block: or, What Would Ricky Roma do?

(By the way, this stupid website won't let me link things in the title, so here is your link to find out all about Ricky Roma.)

Well, I'm blocked. I find myself here frequently (invariably), it's just that I really notice it when there is actually something that I have to accomplish. I always finish the things that I have to, but it's as if my mind won't allow me anymore time than I need to get the job done. When things are like that then there isn't much I can do, except maybe to try and jog myself. So I went spelunking over my 200 plus pages of random meanderings that have accumulated over the past six years, and I thought I'd share some highlights. Current commentary, if any, follows in italics:

"When I said I Loved You I meant It Hypothetically,
And Other Short Musings By Jason Dean"

"Title: Inordinately Mexican"

"The DesLongchamp, an award: develop a description, prizes, and give them away every year."

"…and that will be available in ten days or two weeks, whichever comes first."

"Your new thing is to always say “and a half” at the end of your age. It’s funny."

"I want to unzip my chest with a knife
and let the words of my heart bleed onto the page.
I cant get them from my heart to my head,
so I’ll place a direct line." Could you be any more dramatic and feebly angst ridden? It's still kind of a cool image though, I guess.

"The other day I had to laugh out loud when I thought of how silly it is that Clark Kent just has to put on glasses and a suit and act like a loser and no one knows that he is Superman."

"Mad at the government because of my dad. Explore that."

"Why do I find it funny to be an asshole? These are the hard questions that I need to ask myself."

"I wonder what the most petty reason for suicide has ever been? I’ll have to ask God when I get there."

"For some reason at some point this phrase occurred to me, monkey bliss."

"I pretended to be a gimp to see if people would give me money. That seems like such the typical American reaction: throw money at an unfixable problem."

"Write a letter someday that is almost all a p.s."

"What about hot and cold water in the same pipe? It would completely revolutionize plumbing and halve their actual job."

"Enshrine your ignorance, defend it. People want to be poets, and appear deep, and that’s pathetic."

"Essay of pretentious mini-essays:
I called Kinko’s to ask if they could make a copy of myself..."

"You know what I’m sick of hearing? “In this day and age...” This has to be the most frequently accessed phrase by the public at large and has therefore been rendered meaningless. Behold, we sit on the ground floor of an empire of language, and instead of traversing the floors in an ever increasing abundance of articulation, we are content to feast on garbage and dross."

"You think that’s funny? I’ve read funnier lines on headstones."

"Having a talk show means never having to say you’re sorry."

"When you finally publish your book, note that it is a pre-posthumous release."

All of that and still a little blocked. I think it's a little better, though. I mean, it's not like the bar is too high or anything.


Jenée Elizabeth said...

You should put these in that book, Joke Soup, where there are all those quotes from comedians. Hey, why don't you just become a comedian?

tom deslongchamp said...

more more more