Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Jason Live Blogs the 2008 Democratic Natl. Convention

Thoughts on Chris Mathews:

I'm just wondering who made the decision to allow Chris Mathews to drink copiously before going on the air. Please do not misunderstand, I am not disagreeing with this decision, but you've got to admit that it's risky. I think it will pay off in the end, so I think the producer need not shy away from the limelight—your ratings shall rise and so will your standing in the MSNBC newsroom.

Mathews is making bizarre non-sequitar, incoherent jokes to no one in particular—Keith Olberman is sitting beside him, but it's not clear that Mathews is interacting with him. He's giggling like a school boy and the act is very charming, very bilious. We all know the idea of television-news is an oxymoron and a logical impossibility; I think that MSNBC is simply running that out to its inevitable existential conclusion.

Dick Morris, Intellectual SuperTitan:

Dick Morris is running his gums over there on the venerable Fox network, and he's saying that Hilary Clinton really wants Barack Obama to lose this November (which may or may not be true). She wants him to lose so she can run in 2012 against McCain. She wants him to lose so bad, in fact, that in her speech she is going to urge her party to unite, and all rally around Obama in a show of unmitigated solidarity. But why in the world would she do that, Dick (please don't take that offensively, sir), if she wants Obama to lose? It's simple, he says: She wants to do so well, and support Obama so much that she makes Joe Biden look bad. And after her speech tonight the Democrats will slap their collective forehead and say, "What was Obama thinking, clearly he should have picked her for VP." And then naturally, of course, his campaign will got down in flames, probably by the end of the week. That's a beautiful peice of self-evident logic. It's right up there with such time honored ideas as "Two wrongs make a right," "If we want peace we should get rid of all our weapons," and "Wisdom is overrated." Absolutely, Dick. The way to ensure a run for herself in 2012 is to do everything she can to make sure Obama gets elected in November. Clearly anyone who doesn't recognize that does not deserve to live.

On Signs and Placards:

One Obama sign reads: "Barack Obama: For a Strong Middle Class." Well thank you. I want to apologize, I didn't realize that it was important to emphasize the slightly specific and painfully obvious on 12X24 placards. I think in that case Mccain needs to get cracking on his ObvioPlacs, and I have a few suggestions: "McCain: For Freedom for Americans" "McCain: For Food in Everyone's Refrigerators," "McCain: For Decent Cars if People Can Afford them."

My LOL Moment:

The Democrats put together an inspirational videography of Hillary Clinton. So far so good. They took little bits of interviews in which people have talked about her, which is you know, cool. And then they played a snippet of an interview with Bill Clinton, and the words that went on the screen to indicate who he was: "Hillary's Husband." Are you kidding? If this is what feminism is, the need to introduce the former leader of the free world as "Hillary's Husband," then you will unfortunately have to count me out. But it is unfortunate; I had a lot to give.

We Dodged a Bullet:

Would we really want someone who has their finger on the button who had the judgment to choose a bright orange pants suit for the biggest speech of her career? Exactly. Yes, it could have been worse, it could have been banana yellow, but good God, what a mistake.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You iz so funny, I've decided you should do more of this ridiculous "live blogging" thing. ;)