Thursday, July 17, 2008

Anymore and I'll Gore Myself

Read it and weep.

It does make me weep. Weep until the tears are blood because I've exhausted the regular tear material (I heard your tears turn to blood if you cry too much—someone Wikipedia that to see if it's true). I do not wish to make a political point, I'll try as much as I can on this blog to stay away from political points. But I do wish to make a point that has a direct correspondence with reality, if you don't mind.

Why is Gore's claim a noble one? It is tantamount to the ravings of a street person, whom you and I politely ignore as we pass him on the street. I object to Gore's statement on the grounds of possibility—we are 100 years and trillions of dollars entrenched in an oil based infrastructure. Even if that needs to change, it will take a shite-sight longer than 10 years, and Al Gore knows that. But he's bold, challenging and enlightened, a wannabe JFK by his own admission.

Look, should I be mad at a guy who walks up and hands me a handful of his own crap that he says is gold? No, but neither should he receive international acclaim. Should I slight the guy who says he's thirsty because he just got in from Jupiter and it's a hell of a flight? Again, no, but I would be afraid if my country put a medal around his neck, fed him a steak dinner, and asked him with a straight face if he saw any Jupitairians.

At this point people will say, "He's trying to make a point, that we need to switch to renewable resources," and for that you admire him. Look, if you really wanted to help, wouldn't you suggest something practical? Do parents go to their 5-year-olds and say, "In ten years I want you to know calculus. Five years after that I want you to have a patent that will ensure your mother and I's happy early retirement." Would that be nice? Well, sure, but to put that kind of pressure on a kid is cruel.

Oh hell, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em: Right now I challenge the United States of America to cure world hunger, governmental oppression, war and racism in seven and a half years. If you need any tips, let me know.

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